Monday, February 23, 2015

Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus 2- Ninja Race Mode Tips

So I have been playing a bit of the Ninja Race mode in Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus 2 on the Vita and I thought I would share some tips for this super fun, challenging mode. Note: I have been playing as Ryu, so these tips are (mostly) character specific.

-Lunar Staff is obtained after beating Chapter 1 in the story mode- do this first.

-The Lunar features quick combo kills using weak, weak, strong. This is much faster than square, square, triangle, shuriken cancel, triangle with the dragon sword.

-The Lunar is also fantastic for crowd control, unlike the DS. Standing neutral strong, either stand alone or chained into a combo is good, as is the standard weak, weak, weak, strong strong. A good one for quick limb detachments is chains starting with towards and square. This is a poke with range and power and like the other combos mentioned above it seems to grant some crowd protection in the same way that VF combo strings do. The dragon sword does not carry this advantage.

-The Dragon Sword does have the flying swallow, but it whiffs too much sometimes and therefore wastes too much time. There's no whiffing with the Lunar staff.

-Minimize ET/UT usage. Keep it to the purple essence or health if you don't need it. You'll definitely want to avoid using the green essence for them as green grants time bonuses. The white essence grants speed and power bonuses so try not to utilize that for ET's/UT's either, unless you're at max speed/power or you're in trouble.

-I experimented with both avoiding fights and taking them all on and what seemed to work best for me was a combination of the two- run until you group enemies together at a point where you're forced to fight and kill them as fast as you can. You'll get a feel for the best spots to do this as you try the course over after failing (unless you're amazing and do it in one go) but off the top of my head, I skip the first three regular ninjas and have them follow me, along with the first 2 dogs, into the bridge area where you're forced to fight the spider ninja. Then I grouped together the next batch with the big fight at the area before the archer section.

-Speaking of the archers, DO NOT BOTHER WITH THEM. Major time waster. Either fight the guys below while dodging arrows or take them all with you to the underground passage and kill them in close quarters (if you get far enough ahead you can no essence charge a UT, or at least an ET to soften them up (if you want).

-Plan on failing several times while you're learning the route(s) and strategy(ies). Unless of course you're god tier. At this point in my life I'm human tier, so it took me a good 10 tries or so to figure it all out. The time constraints are rough and leave little room for error. The most time I can recall having on the clock at once was somewhere around 2:40.

-Race 01: If you get to the first boss fight with less than 40 seconds on the clock restart. When I beat the course I believe I got to him with 1:10 or so left.

That's all I can remember atm.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Differences Between Bayonetta and Bayonetta 2- Which Do You Prefer?

* Unlocks are easier to get most of the time, but can't be quick unlocked via cheatcodes.
* there's a bigger difference in move-set per weapon.
* Umbran Climax is added, think Devil Trigger.
* Magic no longer drains when hit.
* Pulleys Butterfly now also constantly drains magic.
* Enemies no longer do surprise attacks at the start of a fight.
* Certain enemies will attack you in a cutscenes, if you press dodge at that point you'll start the fight with an extended Witch Time.
* Requirements for PP seem to be a lot higher and more tight.
* You can't reset to title-screen when you're looking at your ranking, so you can more easily screw up your rank.
* More costumes, like..a lot more.
* 'Serious Mode' from Bayo1 is gone during bosses.
* Few new abilities are added such as Charge Shots and a sort of Shoryuken move.
* Default Control scheme was changed, no idea why. Type B is the controls from the first game.
* Dodge animation was changed a bit.
* With the exception of truly broken setups that disallow rankings (Rosa + Climax Brace + Climax Brace 2), there isn't a big ultra move that kills everything in seconds.
* Online Co-op is now added where you can play as two male characters (Lumen Sage and Rodin).
* There's a lot less 'other stuff' when it comes to gameplay. The driving section is only a minute long and the flying section is a lot shorter as well.
* Levels are bigger with more room to explore.
* Lot more enemy types from what I'm noticing.
* Highest difficulty setting does NOT disable Witch Time
*The window to activate Witch Time is much more generous but it's balanced out by being slightly
shorter than the first and there are stricter PP requirements.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Mass Effect 2 Element Zero and Side Quest Locations Guide

---------------------------------
ELEMENT ZERO RICH PLANETS
------------------------------

Omega Nebula - Batalla - Thunawanuro 7,500
Hourglass Nebula - Faryar - Daratar 6,000
Rosetta Nebula - Alpha Draconis - Aeia 5,000
Rosetta Nebula - Enoch - Mizraim 2,000
Rosetta Nebula - Enoch - Laban 3,000
Rosetta Nebula - Enoch - Joab 5,000
Far Rim - Dholen - Gotha 5,000
The Phoenix Massing - Salahiel - Ekuna 4,000
Hades Nexus - Hekate - Bothros - 2,000
Hades Nexus - Pamyat - Dobrovolski 5,000
Hades Nexus - Sheol - Gei Hinnom 5,500
Nubian Expanse - Kalabsha - Yamm 3,000
Caleston Rift - Balor - Caleston 5,000
Hawking Eta - Schwarzschild - Etamis 5,000
Pylos Nebula - Dirada - Siano 5,000
Pylos Nebula - Satent - Boro 6,500
Pylos Nebula - Satent - Raisaris - 7,000
Eagle Nebula - Relic Cluster - Planet Preying Mouth
Eagle Nebula - Amun Cluster - Planet Anhur
Eagle Nebula - Amun Cluster - Planet Sekhmet
Crescent Nebula - Lusarn Cluster - Planet Tarith
Crescent Nebula - Zelene Cluster - Planet Helyme
Hourglass Nebula - Osun Cluster - Planet Erinie
Hourglass Nebula - Ploitari Cluster - Planet Thegan
Titan Nebula - Haskins Cluster - Planet Capek
Valhallan Threshhold - Micah Cluster - Planet Farlas
Valhallan Threshhold - Micah Cluster - Planet Israfil
Valhallan Threshhold - Micah Cluster - Planet Kakabel
The Shrike Abyssal - Urla Rast Cluster - Planet Talis Fia
The Shrike Abyssal - Xe Cha Cluster - Planet Tosal Nym
The Shrike Abyssal - Xe Cha Cluster - Planet Zada Ban
Sigurd's Cradle - Decoris Cluster - Planet Sanctum
Sigurd's Cradle - Skepsis Cluster - Planet Watson
Omega Nebula - Batalla Cluster - Planet Nearog
Krogan DMZ - Nith Cluster - Planet Mantun
Minos Wasteland - Caestus Cluster - Planet Invictus
Caleston Rift - Aysur Cluster - Planet Arvuna

-----------------------------------------------------
------------------------
PLANETS WITH SIDE QUESTS
------------------------

Planet______________ System ______________ Nebula
Taitus ______________ Talava System_________ Caleston Rift
Sinmara ____________ Solveig System________ Caleston Rift
Helyme _____________ Zelene System __________Crescent Nebula
Tarith _______________ Lusarn System __________Crescent Nebula
Neith _______________ Amun System __________Eagle Nebula
Gel Hinnom__________ Sheol System__________ Hades Nexus
Daratar ______________Faryar System__________ Hourglass Nebula
Zanethu _____________ Ploitari System__________ Hourglass Nebula
Aequitas _____________Fortis System __________Minos Wasteland
MSV Strontium Mule _________________________ Omega Nebula
Lorek _______________ Father ________________ Omega Nebula
Joab ________________ Enoch System __________Rosette Nebula
Sanctum _____________Decoris System __________Sigurd's Cradle
Franklin ______________Skepsis System__________ Sigurd's Cradle
Zada Ban ____________Xe Cha System __________The Shrike Abyssal
Capek _______________Haskins System__________Titan Nebula
Pylos Nebula__________Dirada__________________Canalus

Monday, December 29, 2014

Day In the Life of a SAHM I Know

-Feed the baby when she wakes up at around 8am, and then sit down for around 30-50 minutes and watch tv before going outside to smoke cigarettes once the baby falls back asleep for her first nap of the day. Once mom is done smoking she either watches more tv or takes a nap, depending on how she feels that day. The baby usually sleeps until ~11am so she will nap/watch tv until then.

-Once the baby is up, she feeds her, changes her diaper and then places her in front of the tv in her playpen and then baby proceeds to watch tv with mommy until lunch time (Or, if this taxing routine has been too much for her to handle as of late, she'll bundle up the baby and head to the in-laws and lets them deal with the baby).

-Lunch time. Then nap, during which mommy watches more tv/smokes cigarettes outside.

Post lunch: The afternoon is just like the morning except a little less reality tv shows and a little more solitaire or pinball on the computer. Oh, sometimes she'll play COD in the morning instead of watch shitty reality shows/daytime talk shows.

Dinner time: Daddy will be home soon (and it can't be soon enough 'cause she's starvin!) Wonder what he (yes, HE) is going to cook for dinner- oh, wait, he's been complaining again about doing everything even though I am home all day (cause you know, he thinks babies take care of themselves and all mothers do is nap and watch tv) so I guess I'll do it tonight to shut him up for a few days (fucking whiner).

So what should I make him? Processed frozen food, or should I just text him and have him pick up (and pay for) fast food?Ah, let's go with the frozen dinner. I could go for some McDonald's and I don't feel like bending down to use the oven but he's been complaining about money since I keep "spending it all faster than he can make it." What a whiner. Get a better job then. Mary's boyfriend doesn't complain about her spending!

HE's HOME!! TIME TO COMPLAIN AND PASS THE BABY OFF TO HIM SO I CAN 'RELAX' FOR A BIT WHILE HE COOKS DINNER!

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Kids and Drugs II

In my experience as a father of a 5 year old daughter there's nothing in life that more poignantly exemplifies the notion of things in life being both immensely beneficial and seriously detrimental than does having a kid. I have previously written about the downsides of having a kid before so I will just summarize some of them in bulletpoint:

-Tremendous drain on time
-Tremendous drain on resources
--Seriously, the time drain. I have to say it again because "holy fuck can I just have 5 min. alone?" is a common thought
-Being woken up at 6:20am with the lights being turned on, a kid jumping on you, being asked to play, etc
-In a span of 3 hours you might be asked 100 questions
-You have to play the same kids games over and over and fake enthusiasm each time
-You have to consider another person and physically take them with you whenever you plan to do anything
-Dealing with things like tantrums, crying, screaming, shit, piss, puke, injuries, spills (constant spills at certain ages), etc
-Just having to constantly be "on-" You're a teacher, a mentor, a guard, a babysitter, a cook, a cleaner etc all day long

Now, all that aside, all that shit you hear about parenting being the greatest, most rewarding endeavour in the world is (mostly) true. There are moments between her and I that are truly the happiest and most endearing of any in this life and I sincerely mean that. The feelings that your little one can engender within you are far and away better, more intense and more satisfying than any you can experience elsewhere. It always sounded ridiculous to me when I was younger but now I find myself experiencing it: I will sometimes think about her and I will feel myself starting to tear up (or feel like I am close to it). She is the greatest, sweetest, brightest thing in my life and I am completely dedicated to doing the best job I can so as to allow her to become a self actualized, competent, happy, free spirited, inquisitive, motivated human (and in all honesty, so far so good, but not solely because of me; she plays a huge role in it herself).

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Here's What They Don't Tell You About Having Kids (And the Love you feel for them)

Parenting, on a day by day, minute to minute basis is a LOT of work, both physical and mental.

"Oh, I know that," you say.

Do you? Do you really know that?

Imagine being woken up at 6:20am by a fully energized kid ready to start the day off with a wrestling match, or a walk to the park when all you want to do is sleep (but you cannot) so you get up and you start the day. By 1pm you've already made breakfast for two, wrestled, done artwork, watched a kids tv show or two, played outside, cleaned 3 messes, made lunch for two, been asked 1000 questions and pulled in 1000 different directions and have had zero time to yourself. By 1pm you're already halfway to being wiped out but she's not going to be in bed until 8pm and her energy is endless.....btw, if you want to go to the grocery store, good luck. It will take 4 times as long as it would without a kid, unless you make them ride in the cart (and even then they will still find ways to annoy-try to escape, try to grab things off the shelf, ask for everything they see, etc.).

And this is when they are a bit more self sufficient. Take this and add crying/screaming/tantrums for toddlers. Now does doing that over and over sound like something you would want to subject yourself to? It's really not all that fun, at least quite often. It's mostly just tiring, draining work and internally you're just wishing for some time alone. I can see why a lot of parents retreat into their phones, although I HATE that they do it, because it hurts the kids.

Parenting makes you an entertainer, a cleaner, a cook, a boss, a role model, etc.

Those moments that everyone talks about, those "OMG AMAZING MOMENTS" like the "I love you's" and the kisses on the cheek, they are just that-moments. Moments surrounded by hours of work. Everyone points to these moments but neglects to mention the day to day drudgery.

A drug analogy really holds well here. In fact (and this is where I lose people) I believe the 'love' we feel for our children is, as is romantic love, just a chemically induced state (oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin) which we evolved to feel in order to keep us from either abandoning or killing the little buggers. Just think about it: How successful would we have been as a species if we DIDN'T feel that love feeling for the screaming little buggers? And so if this is true, the "love" that we all speak of to justify being a parent (seriously, other dads I talk to agree about what it's like but then invariably go to the "ya, but I love him/her/them and when they give you that random hug it's all worth it!") is actually the 'trick' if you will, that nature plays on us to keep us committed to the kids. We romanticize the shit out of what I believe to simply be an evolved trick of sorts.

Now, that all being said, as they age things change and it can become less one sided and more of a real friendship/relationship rather than just a worker/recipient situation. My daughter is now 5 and she is truly a kindhearted, intelligent, funny and fun kid and the feeling of things being "work" is much less frequent (and intense) as it used to be. Chunks of the day really have become less like work and more just hanging out and having an honestly good time. For example, we'll go on nature walks along the water or in a nearby forest and during times like that it's all exploration, inquisitiveness, appreciation and bonding between the two of us. She is getting much better behaved and so even going to the store has become less stressful (some days, some days I still want to kill her) and as long as you mediate your feelings, have an open heart, treat them well, etc you can have a good time.

But even then it's still a LOT of work and a total drain on your once free time, so potential parents should THINK HARD about the day to day realities rather than just the "aawww moments." Those "aww moments" are a high and the rest of the day is spent doing the drudgery no one really talks about when you mention wanting kids.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Top Ten Divorce Lawyer Dirty Tricks

Top Ten Tricks of Scumbags Known as “Family Law Attorneys”

1. The bankruptcy trick.

Here is how it works……. In the property division portion of the trial, the “wife” and her life sucking leach will let you keep most of your stuff. You know, your classic cars and motorcycles, toys, property in your family for years, etc. {don’t worry, she’ll throw out all the smaller mementos of your life, in violation of the temporary order, to make the math easier} In exchange, you have to pay the princess a cash settlement based on splitting all the bills due minus the assets each person takes. Sounds fair, right? --deleted-- NO! What happens is that, shortly after the divorce, pumpkin declares bankruptcy. Now guess who is responsible for ALL the bills. Yes, you. The nice part is that if you declare bankruptcy to get rid of those marital bills, your ex sweetheart’s cash payout is not subject to the bankruptcy proceedings. Your credit is now --deleted--ed and you will have to pay her the cash the judge promised her. They will seize property (including bank accounts), garnish wages, etc. in order to help out the former Mrs. X.

Solution: What you need to do is make sure that you put on the record, say to the judge during the trial, “Your Honor, I stipulate to the property division as put forth by Ms. _______ ,and her counsel, with the following caveat: In the event that a party declares bankruptcy within ten years of the divorce, that party shall not be entitled to any cash settlement from the other and any payments made as part of a cash equalization payment shall be returned by order of the court.” Then smile and shut up. If they pull this on you, you need to have this on the record. The judge can agree with this or not, her attorney will flip out that you are on to this trick and certainly protest. Let him make an ass of himself or herself. When they finish, simply state that “to do otherwise is to open the door for a future civil case of unjust enrichment and I realize the court is busy and may not wish to reopen this matter, under relief from judgment statutes, at a later time.”


2. The “Magical Order” trick.

You’ll like this one. You go to court and get basically what you want, justice. Then a week or so later you get a copy of the proposed order. Well, holy --deleted--, the order has things that were never discussed or ordered or has it just plain wrong. This is definitely NOT what the judge ordered. How did this mistake happen? It isn’t a mistake. The other attorney knows that these things are usually rubber stamped by a judge’s secretary and they aren’t going through the transcripts to see if the lawyer accurately wrote down what the judge ordered. The judge has lots of cases to handle. In most cases, he will not remember, and will take the “scumbag attorney” at his word.

Solution:A week before the hearing, or trial, submit a “request for audio recording” of the action. If it is denied, and it is a one party consent state, tape the thing yourself secretly. Once they know you are on to this trick, by your request for a recorded hearing, they will be more “careful” when they word the order. When you get the proposed order, review it immediately. You generally have five days to object before it is made final. If it is wrong, make sure you object. If your objections are overruled, let them know that “the audiotape I possess clearly shows the order is wrong.” Threaten to contact your States attorney ethics board if you are being ignored. Be nice at first. Never lose your temper.


3. The Disappearing mail trick.

You can trust the one who agreed to “better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health”, right. No. You can’t. You get something in the mail that says basically “hey, you failed to show up for _______ (mediation, court hearing, required appointment, etc.). Since you didn’t care enough to show, we bent you over the bench in effigy and ass raped you. Have a nice day and --deleted-- off.” You think “well, I never got a notice of that”. How could I get the ass rape letter and not the initial notice ? It just can’t be. Sure it can. Little miss innocent simply knew when the original notice was mailed and had someone (bad boy, player, thug) intercept your mail. What? That’s not fair. Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that she got a default judgment, or something else to her benefit, because you didn’t show. And now the judge thinks you don’t care. He will not likely believe someone tampered with your mail and you probably cannot prove it anyhow. And now he is pissed off at you.

Solution: Get a post office box. Send registered letters, return receipt requested, to the court, child support agency, ex’s attorney if she is represented (or her if she isn’t yet) and EVERYBODY ELSE INVOLVED that formally notifies them of this change. Do not say why as it makes you look like a whiner. Just do it. Do it as soon as the action is filed. Check this PO Box every day.