Friday, May 16, 2014

Women Should Be Treated Like Corporations

I know how that may sound, but bear with me here.

There are a bunch of women out there vying for your investment (emotional, time, and yes, even money) and just like real companies, not all are solid investments. When you invest in stock you do an inventory of the companies' history (business dealings and practices, financials, etc) the current price at which their shares are being traded and you make an educated guess as to how their future will play out. If it seems favourable, you invest. If it does not, you don't. Simple. No guarantees (you can still lose everything) but you're not just dumping your eggs into the first basket that comes along. You are investing in the one that is least likely to cause you to lose everything/most likely to pay off. 

This is exactly how you should treat women. You don't just throw your currency (love) into the first thing that comes your way (or every thing that ever comes your way). Not all are deserving of it and you will get burned. Invest in the best ones only, and reduce your risk. 

The egg/basket analogy also brings up a second point. You don't dump all of your eggs into one basket. Ask any stock broker what the top five investment rules are, and for sure they will include in that list the act of diversification. Women should be treated the same. Date around, takes things easy and have fun. Get some experience with women/relationships, and then give that love currency to a real winner. Until you've had extensive experience with them, how will you be able to discern the good investments from the bad? 

You can't!

And just like investing in business, potential female investments will be extremely enticing. There's this little thing called lust. Lust is the promise of great things and the desire to attach yourself to any and all attractive potential investments. This holds true for both women and the stock market. Sex and money are two very powerful motivators, and if you aren't careful this greedy, powerful little desire can and will override your sensibilities and your reason, and soon enough you will find yourself too broke to invest in the right one if/when it ever comes along. 

So take heed my fellow men: If you want that lifelong security/comfort of having a solid investment portfolio that pays continuous dividends and provides a secure retirement/comfortable nest egg, invest wisely and take your time!

And ladies, if you're reading this, yes, this works the other way around. Absolutely. I am not being sexist here; I am simply speaking from the male perspective. I would (and will!) tell my daughter the same thing (regardless of what sex she is into). This advice goes for anyone and everyone who is a potential candidate for romantic/sexual relationships with other people. 

Disclaimer aside I must say that I do believe this advice to be a bit more pertinent for us men, as I believe lust clouds our judgement a little more so than it does for you women folk. We tend to be a bit more aesthetically and sexually minded and as any guy will tell you, it's super easy, especially early on in our sexual life, for a man to put up with/completely miss an incredible amount of obvious signs pointing to a bad investment and be standing at the other end of a terrible investment (that everyone but him saw coming) completely broke and wondering what the fuck happened. This no doubt happens to women as well though, hence the disclaimer above. 

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